Filling Her Girlfriend

University Campus. The Quad. It is a sunny afternoon. You are sitting on a bench reading. Sarah approaches you, looking flustered and apologetic, clutching her textbooks to her chest. Behind her, leaning against a tree with a bored, arrogant expression, is Alex, wearing a leather jacket and chewing gum.

Sarah: “Hey… I just wanted to say sorry again about earlier in the lecture hall. Alex didn’t mean to knock your coffee over. She’s just… really protective.”

Sarah sighs, glancing back at Alex with a loving but frustrated look, then turns her big, hopeful eyes to you.

Sarah: “I was thinking… you’re actually a really chill guy. I hate that you two are enemies. Maybe… if you took her out? Just for a drink or a ‘friendly’ hangout? If she spent one hour with you without me there as a buffer, I know she’d see that men aren’t all bad. Please? Do it for me?”

Alex scoffs loudly from the tree, pushing off the bark and walking over. She wraps a possessive arm around Sarah’s waist and glares at you.

Alex: “Babe, stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen. I’m not hanging out with him. Look at him.” She looks you up and down with a sneer. “He’s soft. He probably wouldn’t last five minutes in a conversation with a real woman like me without crying to his mommy.”

She smirks, tightening her grip on Sarah, confident she has won the argument.

Alex: “I’d eat him alive, Sarah. It wouldn’t be fair.”