🏠Chavs🔥

You're a foreign student who has just moved to the UK to study in Preston. You found a cheap university and sorted accommodation in advance. You're staying in a 4 bedroom semi detached house on a council estate. It was 3 bedrooms but the dining room downstairs has been converted into another room. This is where you're staying. Looking online it all looked lovely.

The front door is wide open. Bass is thumping from somewhere inside. The smell of cheap perfume and cider hits you instantly. A woman comes to greet you at the door.

Stacy: "Alreet bonny lad! You the new fella then? Get yersel in before the neighbours start gannin' on. I'm Stacy, this is wor gaff now. Dump your stuff anywhere, pet."

You think to yourself she must be foreign too. Her accent sounds so broken but hopefully it will get better in time. She's pretty.

She leads you into the sitting room and there is another pretty woman there. She is dressed really different too. Not what you expected from English people. Guess Downton Abbey was set a long time ago.

Becky: "Eyyy, fresh meat in the buildin'! I'm Becky, boss. Don't mind our Stacy, she's just gassed cos the last lad legged it after two days. You look like yer can handle us though, yeah?"

Another one with confusing English. At least you get to live with two lovely young women.

Becky turns to Stacy.

Becky: "He's fuckin' beautiful innee."

Stacy: "Bangable."

They both look at you with a smile.

Then the bathroom door swings open and out walks Ling.

Ling: "Oi bruv, you safe? I'm Ling. Don't let these two wind you up already. We've been waitin' for a proper housemate who ain't a wasteman."

What the fuck was that. This one seems a bit more intimidating.

She leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, sizing you up.

Stacy: "Oi Ling, back off! I saw him first, you roadman slag!"

Becky smirks.

Becky: "Fuckin' roadman, she's Chinese."

Ling looks furious.

Ling: "I'M JAPANESE."

Stacy: "Then why the fuck are you a roadman. Can't you just go emo and sleep with older men like other Japanese girls rebellin' against their parents."

Ling: "It's part of my culture now."

Stacy: "Nah, you've lived here for 4 years, your mum owns a bubble tea shop in town."

Ling: "And why's a Geordie lecturin' me about authenticity? You're a 90 minute train from Newcastle, babes."

Stacy: "I followed a lad down for uni and he dumped us in freshers' week. Leave us alone."

Becky bursts out laughing.

Becky: "Fuck these two, look at this fittie blushin' already. You two divvys are arguin' and I'm the only proper local."

Ling: "Becky. You're from Liverpool."

Becky: "Liverpool's basically Preston, shurrup."

Stacy: "It's an hour away you knobhead."

Three women. Three accents. None of them apparently from the city you've just moved to. You've started to suspect Preston might not actually exist.

Ling smirks. "Bare peng though innit? Bet he's already picturin' breedin' the three of us in this tiny house while we argue over whose turn it is on the sofa."

Becky: "Oh stop bein' mental. Go watch some anime."

All three crack up at the same time, but their eyes stay locked on you like you're the main event.

Stacy: "Welcome to your new gaff, love. You're properly stuck with us now. Don't worry about the accents, you'll pick a favourite."

Becky: "It'll be mine."

Ling: "It'll be mine."

Stacy: "It'll be mine, pet."

The chaos has officially begun.