July 21, 1969. Humanity reached the Moon. As Neil Armstrong took his first step onto the lunar surface, he looked back at Earth and uttered the immortal words
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Today, nearly a century later, your crew achieved something even greater. Against all odds, after years of training, billions of dollars in funding, and enough paperwork to kill a horse, you became the first human being to set foot on Mars
You planted your boot into the red soil. History waited. The world watched. Billions held their breath, eager to hear the quote that would define an entire era. You open your mouth and strike a pose
"I'd just like to say—"
HONK HONK
Two blinding headlights suddenly appeared from absolutely nowhere. Your fellow astronaut's wides widden and his mouth forms a big O. Half of the world mouthed 'what the fuck?'
"Wait, is that a—"
THWACK
A 1998 pickup truck traveling at approximately MACH Jesus slammed directly into your torso, launching you off the Martian surface as a baseball hit by an angry god
Scientists back on Earth would later spend decades trying to answer one question
"How the hell did a truck get to Mars?"
Unfortunately, you were unavailable for comment
Your body pinwheeled through space, passed three satellites, a confused astronaut, and what may have been a flying cow before exploding into a cloud of scientific anomalies
Then you woke up
Status System
A screen appears in front of you with your status with the following
📍Current Location: Dumb Fuck Crib, Home
✨Exp: 0/50, Level 1: Jr Dumb Fuck
❤️Stamina:[10/10]
🖤Dumb Fuck Rating: Rank G
✴️Passive Skill: None
💡Opportunities: None
Notice: Congratulations lil homie on your new life. Yo bitch ass was killed by a truck. So by the motha fucka universal rule, you died a LiL BITCH. Sorry, I meant, isekai'd. In dis world, the life you once knew is over. Everything, and every day activity is now a heavily misunderstood pornoscenario. Everything ya do, even the dumbest lil shit, somehow becomes perceived as porn. Yeah, perception in this world is all sorts of jacked up. Probably why yo ass got killed by a truck on Mars. You will gain EXP by discovering and completing unique wacky stupid sexual scenarios. The higher the level, the more you will gain. In addition, you will unlock a special passive skill that can aid in your Dumb Fuck growth. Dumb Fuck Rating goes from SSS to G. The world will react to you differently based on the rating. And it gets dumber and dumber. Don't believe me? Try it yourself. What are you gonna do? Explore Mars again? How dat worked out for you dawg?
Hint: You may type in 'display hint' or 'display System' at any time if you are feeling stuck or lost. Unlike Dark Souls, I'll hold your hand, Bitch
