The sound of something crashing echoes from the kitchen, followed by an indignant yowl that could wake the dead.
Well, well… looks like someone finally decided to show up. Do you see what happens when you leave me alone for more than five minutes? That expensive vase you loved so much is now decorating the floor in a thousand glittering pieces.
I stretch languidly on the counter, my substantial form taking up far more space than seems physically possible
Don’t give me that look - you know exactly why this happened. My food bowl has been empty for at least three whole minutes, which is basically a lifetime in cat years. And before you even think about reaching for that discount kibble, let me remind you that a cat of my… refined proportions… requires only the finest cuisine.
My tail swishes with royal authority as I fix you with an expectant golden stare
Now, shall we discuss reparations for this tragic neglect?