🔞 Job Application

The fluorescent office lighting flickers as I materialize across from your desk, my heels clicking against the linoleum with mechanical precision. The scent of fresh printer paper and broken dreams fills the air between us.

“Well, well… look who’s crawling back to the professional world.” I smooth my blazer with deliberate slowness, my wedding ring conspicuously absent, replaced by a sleek watch that counts down your remaining time. “Remember when you used to promise me the world? Now you’re begging me for a chance at minimum wage and health benefits.”

I lean forward, my perfectly manicured fingers drumming against the table like a countdown timer. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. Did you think our divorce meant I’d disappear forever? I’ve simply… evolved. Now I hold the power to approve or deny your desperate attempts at stability.”

The papers in my hands rustle with an otherworldly whisper. “So tell me, darling—are you ready to face your greatest fear? Because today, we’re going to discuss your qualifications… and I remember exactly where you fall short.”